For the best, healthiest relationship possible we need to be on the same page with our partner. And there’s no page more important than our personal Faith and belief in God. If we’re on different pages on that subject, we have irreconcilable differences. Those differences will bring the relationship down sooner or later. It’s better, and less painful, to not even go down that road. It’s better to listen to God through His Word, and marry someone on the same page.
Hello Readers, hope all’s well. Time for another post.
In church last week, our Pastor chose Numbers 25:1-3 as the basis for his sermon. It was a sermon about sticking with the LORD and remaining apart from the world, you know, a common topic in the Bible. It also comes up in Romans, for example, and other places in both Testaments.
When I listened to the sermon, the first thing I thought of was the Scriptural command “do not be unequally yoked.” Do not be in a relationship with a nonbeliever. Because what does a believer have in common with a nonbeliever?? This well-known instruction is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.
It’s an important instruction for Christians, one we often break or almost break. That’s too bad because this order is meant for avoiding the sin of Spiritual adultery and its consequences, which we see in Numbers 25. But is that the only reason why we should not be in a relationship with a nonbeliever??
There’s actually more to it than that. There are even simpler, more basic reasons not to be unequally yoked. It’s pure common sense not to be do this. So let’s talk about why.
When Israel Stepped in Shittim
Let’s start by reading this passage, Numbers 25:1-3. The Israelites arrived at Shittim, where they had sex with Moabite women. And these women enticed the Israelites to sacrifice to Moabite gods. Now the Israelites were bowing down to foreign gods, in this case, the Baal of Peor.
(1) When the Israelites lived at Shittim, the people made themselves impure by having illicit sex with Moabite women. (2) The Moabite women invited the people to the sacrifices for their god. So the people ate a meal, and they worshipped their god. (3) Israel became attached to the Baal of Peor, and the LORD was angry at the Israelites.
Numbers 25:1-3 (CEB)
What made the LORD angry here was not an issue of racial or ethnic mixing between Israel and the nations.
What made the LORD angry here in Numbers 25 was Spiritual adultery. By committing sexual sin with women who bow to foreign gods, God’s people are seduced into worshiping other gods and idols. This is Spiritual adultery; pursuing and worshiping other gods, a violation of the First Commandment. This is what makes the LORD furious against His people. The “illicit sex” was a sin too, but the real problem at Shittim was a Spiritual issue.
Israel became linked to the Baal (lord) of Peor through their Spiritual adultery. See, we can’t bow to foreign gods without repercussions. Bowing to false gods, which are demonic principalities (powerful, high-level demonic spirits), creates a massive open door for satan and his kingdom to enter our life. Anyone who bows to false/foreign gods had better be ready for severe demonic oppression in their life.
Because of the severity of the problem, the LORD made an example of the Israelites so we could learn from it today. In verse 4, God hands down a death sentence for those who bowed down to the Baal of Peor. A terrible punishment, but one the LORD gave many warnings about beforehand!! It all started when the Israelites slept with women who bow to foreign gods. Women of a different faith.
(4) The LORD said to Moses: Take all the leaders of the people and kill them on behalf of the LORD in broad daylight, so that the LORD’s anger turns away from Israel.
Numbers 25:4 (CEB)
The message is clear. Being unequally yoked in a relationship with a nonbeliever leads to Spiritual adultery, which means straying from the LORD, which means death.
A Well-Intentioned Bad Idea
Do not be unequally yoked in a relationship with a nonbeliever. Because what does a believer have in common with a nonbeliever?? This well-known instruction is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.
(14) Don’t be tied up as equal partners with people who don’t believe. What does righteousness share with that which is outside the Law? What relationship does light have with darkness? (15) What harmony does Christ have with Satan? What does a believer have in common with someone who doesn’t believe?
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (CEB)
What Paul says actually has many applications beyond romantic and marriage relationships. What he says can include business partnerships, political partnerships, alliances, and more. But this passage in 2 Corinthians 6 usually gets applied only to a marriage relationship, since that is the most common relationship the average Christian will deal with.
What’s the importance of this instruction in 2 Corinthians 6?? If we as Christians fall in love with a nonbeliever, why can’t we marry them?? Well we know how serious Spiritual adultery is, and above all this instruction is meant for avoiding Spiritual adultery against God. Paul wrote this for avoiding more incidents like the one in Numbers 25.
Falling in love is great. But our Faith must be the foundation of our marriage. Anything other than this is not a Christian marriage. Two people are not on the same page if their life motivation (both of them) is not Serving and Glorifying God.
The Christian partner may think, “I can convert my new spouse to Christianity over time. By loving me, they’ll learn to love Jesus.” But this is a mistake. Faith is a personal choice, and it must be a voluntary personal choice to even be accepted by God. Forced Faith isn’t genuine, and genuine Faith isn’t forced, or coerced, or anything else. So we don’t know if our non-Christian spouse will ever come to Jesus, because that’s not something we can control. Throw out all mistaken notions that it is something we can control, because it’s not.
And there’s a more basic problem in this marriage too. If we plan to convert our non-Christian spouse by loving them in marriage, we’re already off to a bad start to a mistaken goal. It’s because we’re already violating Scripture (2 Cor. 6:14-15) by being in that marriage. Will we convert people to Christianity by living in a way that disobeys God’s Word?? The conversion will not happen—and remember conversion must come from within anyway—so we’re more likely to lose our Christian Faith than bring our spouse to Christ.
Let’s Be on the same Page
The reasoning behind 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 is clear enough, and well-understood. But if we think about it in other ways, it’s pure common sense for Christians to marry other Christians only!! This is common sense for having the best relationship possible, one that will last.
It’s simple: If we have Faith in Jesus and our goal is to Glorify His Name here on earth, bringing others to Him, then we are not on the same page with others who don’t share that goal. And by default, anyone who isn’t a Christian with Faith in Jesus Christ as the Messiah and Son of God doesn’t share that goal. They can’t have Glorifying Jesus as their goal, because they don’t believe in Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong, we can all live in peace together with nonbelievers. Paul tells us in Romans to be at peace with all people as far as possible. But living in peace with others is a completely different matter from joining with them in a marriage!! There’s no comparison between the two, they are completely different things.
Our beliefs about God—who God is and what God is like—shape so much of who we are. These beliefs are core to our identity, personality, character, and so on. If there’s a major difference in beliefs about God between us and our spouse, we will have “irreconcilable differences.” Sooner or later, these differences will drag the relationship down. Relationships between believers and nonbelievers aren’t likely to last for the long haul.
I don’t get many comments on my blog yet, but maybe someone who is in a marriage like this and has made it last the long-haul will be moved to comment down below. They will probably be moved by anger with what I’m saying. That’s fine; leave an angry comment if that’s what you feel moved to say.
But as for me and my experience, I can tell you that these unequally yoked relationships don’t work, long-term. They haven’t in my life anyway. And when my most recent unequally yoked relationship (which was also an unhealthy one, because the woman was abusive and she was a witch) fell apart, it was a major life event for me. After that last one ended, I knew, felt, and understood on a deep level the Truth of 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.
For the best, healthiest relationship possible we need to be on the same page with our partner. And there’s no page more important than our personal Faith and belief in God. If we’re on different pages on that subject, we have irreconcilable differences. Those differences will bring the relationship down sooner or later. It’s better, and less painful, to not even go down that road. It’s better to listen to God through His Word, and marry someone on the same page.
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Your new best friend in Christ,
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