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“Where was God when my childhood abuse happened??”

“If God is good, why did He allow that to happen to me?? Why did He allow me to be traumatized like that??”

As Christians, these questions and others like them are the toughest questions we could ever be asked when evangelizing and explaining our Faith.


Hello Readers, hope all’s well. Time for another post.

When we evangelize our Faith, of course we get questions and challenges. This world is hostile to God, hostile to Jesus. So many people like to challenge evangelists with questions. They ask about this or that weird thing about the Bible, or about the evidence for God, that kind of stuff.

With the Scriptures and guidance from Spiritually mature Christian leadership, we can answer these kinds of questions very well.

But there’s a different kind of question we have to face sometimes, which is one we can’t really answer. We feel terrible for the person asking, because the question itself is full of pain. These are questions like: “If God is so good, why did He allow me to be sexually abused??” “Where was God when my Father mercilessly beat me??”

The answer to these questions is personal and unique; we should never try to answer for another person. We can only answer for ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we have nothing to say, in response to these questions. So read on, and let’s think about how we can deal with this tough topic.

Where Was He???

“Where was God when my childhood abuse happened??”

“If God is good, why did He allow that to happen to me?? Why did He allow me to be traumatized like that??”

As Christians, these questions and others like them are the toughest questions we could ever be asked when evangelizing and explaining our Faith.

Questions like these are even tougher to answer than things like, “how do you know God is real??” which is another common question from nonbelievers.

Yes, the toughest question of all is when someone with extreme trauma in their past (like childhood abuse, etc.) wants to know, if there is a God, why did He allow that to happen?? What did this person “do wrong” in God’s eyes to deserve that kind of trauma?? Why were they “chosen” to bear that pain, while others weren’t??

Listen Readers. In case someone asks you these questions in the future, I’ll tell you the answer right now: We don’t have an answer to these questions.

The answer to these questions are personal and unique, and only the person asking can figure them out, by living life and following the LORD. And they have to figure them out, because no one else can answer for them. Readers, never dream of answering these questions for someone else. We should only answer for ourselves.

But if someone asks, what we can tell them is that there are answers to their questions. And sharing our own answers that we’ve found in life may help a person on a quest to find their answers. As an example of one answer to the questions, I’ll now share what I’ve come to feel about my own trauma.

My Answer

I also suffered a childhood of abuse and neglect. By the Grace of God there was never any sexual abuse of any kind, but my childhood experience left long-lasting scars nonetheless. It traumatized me, and affected me well into adulthood, decades after I’d left the home.

The lasting impact of the trauma was decades of depression, loneliness, and hopelessness, along with many years of drug and other addictions. All my relationships with others were disordered and often abusive. And I drifted aimlessly through life with no goals and ambitions, because I didn’t care about life. All I really wanted, deep down, was to die and just be done with all this.

Meanwhile I didn’t have the LORD in my life for this whole time. God was something I associated with my abusive parents, who were actually Catholic, not Christian. So I blasphemed against God and stayed far away from Him; after all, He hadn’t helped me in any way during childhood. So I thought, why should I worship Him?? In that sense my parents drove me far away from God rather than closer to Him, like parents should. And even after being born again I held this against them, not being able to Forgive until around the time of my Baptism.

But things are good now, because I have the LORD in my life. The life I have now is better than any high point I’ve ever had before. God is good for taking me from where I was, bringing me back to Him, and getting me to where I am now. God is good, for that. But what about my childhood abuse?? What was the point of all that?? Why did God allow it, and how did it figure in His Plan??

That answer isn’t 100% clear yet. I still haven’t seen the totality of God’s Plan for my life. But for now I’d say my trauma happened to put me on the path through hell I went through—depression, addiction, and so on. The purpose of this path was for me to realize I needed God, for without Him I can’t do anything good.

By God bringing me to Him in this way, my Faith was now genuine, real, and I desired it. Now I have true Faith and a true experience of God; not the legalistic fake faith pushed on me by my parents. God used my life path to give me the gift of the true experience of Christianity and having a relationship with God. I’m Christian now and no longer Catholic, of course.

As for the decades of depression, the years of addiction, I would say this. God’s purpose in allowing me to suffer these things was so that I would be able to understand and relate to the pain of others. I know a lot about how it feels to be addicted to something, to be a slave to something harmful. Yes, I know all about that. And I know all about how it feels to be so depressed you want to die, mainly because of not seeing any point to living life at all. I know all about that too.

Since I know about these things from my own experience, now I can talk to others going through the same and try to help them through it. I’m not saying I have the magic answers to miraculously help people with everything they deal with. But I can relate better to people struggling with addiction (etc.) now than I could if I had never suffered it myself. I can connect with people’s pain much better now, because I suffered many of the same pains myself. This means I’m better able to help these others. And maybe that’s what God always wanted for me. I’ll have to keep following the LORD to find out for sure.

Like I said, the answer isn’t 100% clear yet. I still haven’t seen the totality of God’s Plan for my life. But I know God has a good Plan for me like He has for everyone who believes in Him. And I know this because God Saved me from where I was at my rock bottom and brought me to where I am today.

But in my painful experiences I learned in excruciating detail about so many of the torments that plague people today. And these things are the after-effects of trauma. Which means my own trauma meant something, and was important.

That’s my answer, for now. For today. And it’s more than enough for me. But I would never dream of taking my answer and trying to apply it to another person’s life. This answer is mine, it’s for me, and I only found it by continuing to live life but also following the LORD. In my opinion the best answer I can give for others is to suggest they do the same.

He Brings Good out of Evil

There’s another reason why it’s so difficult to even try answering the questions above. And to be honest, this reason makes the whole thing more painful.

We are defenseless when we’re children, so we’re not responsible for anything done to us. Unlike a punishment or consequence for sin, trauma from childhood abuse is NOT our fault and NOT our doing. Actually, when we suffer trauma due to anything that happened in childhood, we suffer the consequences of someone else’s sin against us.

Which means our trauma can not be a punishment from God—we never did anything wrong. But we still suffer anyway.

This element adds extra pain to the whole matter, and makes the survivors even angrier against God. Again: “Why would God allow this to happen if it wasn’t even my fault??”

I’ll say it one more time to make it clear: Anything done to us in childhood is not our fault. All the blame rests on the abusers, not on God. The abusers are the ones who failed. They fail as parents, they fail us as their children, and they fail God above all.

What should be a good thing that honors and Glorifies God—a family—gets corrupted by the devil and used for evil. Instead of bringing Glory to God by raising healthy children, this family produces traumatized victims with grievous wounds.

But here we see a good example of how both God and the devil work. The devil likes to take the beautiful things God made and ordered, and ruin them. But God loves to take what it ruined, and make it beautiful. Scripture attests to this. One of God’s favorite things to do is to bring good out of a situation the devil meant for evil. And He will do this for all victims of trauma too, if they will turn to Him and be healed. I can attest to this myself.

There is no trauma that can’t be healed, no damage that can’t be undone. God can and WILL bring forth healing in the lives of survivors of childhood trauma, no matter how severe. There is no legacy of abuse that God can’t or won’t heal.

The Book of Job has so much to say about suffering. More specifically, suffering we don’t understand and see no reason for. But remember that in the triumphant ending of Job, the LORD turned everything around and restored Job. He HEALED Job. The LORD blessed Job’s later years more than his early years. AND THE LORD WILL DO THE SAME FOR ALL VICTIMS OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE, IF THEY TAKE REFUGE IN HIS HEALING EMBRACE!! AMEN!!

(10) Then the LORD changed Job’s fortune when he prayed for his friends, and the LORD doubled all Job’s earlier possessions. (11) All his brothers, sisters, and acquaintances came to him and ate food with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him concerning all the disaster the LORD had brought on him, and each one gave him a qesitah and a gold ring. (12) Then the LORD blessed Job’s latter days more than his former ones. […] (16) After this, Job lived 140 years and saw four generations of his children. (17) Then Job died, old and satisfied.

Job 42:10-12, 16-17 (CEB)

JUST LIKE HE DID WITH JOB, GOD WILL BRING A SATISFYING, HEALING RESOLUTION TO THE PAIN OF THE TRAUMATIZED. AND HE WILL AID THEM AND GIVE THEM A GOOD LIFE. HALLELUJAH!!

But first they need to turn to the LORD and embrace Him, and allow Him to work in their lives.

This is the only way a person asking the tough questions about their trauma and the purpose of it will ever find their answers. If they endure, keep going, and turn to the LORD and follow Him, they will find their answers. And with those answers, peace. And with that peace, a good life.

But this is something that they have to do, because only they can do it. We can’t answer these tough questions for anyone else. We all have to answer them for ourselves. We have to follow the LORD, pray for healing, and find out over the time spent seeking out God. Showing a good example of how to do this is the best way we can help someone looking for answers to the tough questions their trauma created.


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Until next time, be strong and do good!

Your new best friend in Christ,

99:9

<<<EXALT THE LORD OUR GOD AND WORSHIP AT HIS HOLY HILL; FOR THE LORD OUR GOD IS HOLY>>>


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One comment on “Why, God, Why??

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