But when an Ahab and Jezebel spirit recognize each other in someone else, they make a connection. But this isn’t a Godly connection. It’s not based on anything positive, but on the desires of these two demons.
The Free from Ahab miniseries
Free from Ahab Part 2: Who Was Ahab?
Free from Ahab Part 3: Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
Hello Readers, hope all’s well. It’s time for the next post in the Free from Ahab miniseries. By this point I’ve talked about what the Ahab spirit is, and last week’s post was on passivity. Now it’s time to talk about the dysfunctional Jezebel-Ahab relationship.
Like Queen Jezebel and King Ahab from 1 Kings, people carrying these demonic spirits often link up in relationships and marriages. Such relationships are so common, maybe you know some yourself. Jezebel and Ahab are perfect for each other, after all. But it’s not a match made in heaven, it’s a match made in hell.
But why do these relationships so often form? That’s the most important thing to know. Because for anyone who feels they have an Ahab spirit in them, this is the exact relationship you need to avoid! Avoid at all cost!
By the way, as you read this remember that these demonic spirits have no gender. An Ahab spirit can indwell a woman, and a Jezebel spirit can indwell a man.
An Unholy Spiritual Connection
Many people are walking around with a Jezebel spirit indwelling them. Many people are walking around with an Ahab spirit indwelling them. These people may or may not be aware of this. Many are secular with no beliefs … they wouldn’t believe any talk of demons if you told them. But being Christian doesn’t guarantee having spiritual warfare knowledge. Many Christians are ignorant of spiritual warfare and demons too.
But a lack of knowledge doesn’t stop these demonic spirits that live in the spiritual realm. They’re content to indwell any atheist or New Ager and so on. In fact that’s even better for them, since such people won’t have the ally they need to remove the demons: Jesus.
Demons operate in a different realm from ours: The spiritual realm. The invisible. We can’t see that realm, but what happens there has an impact on our lives here in the physical, the visible. And there’s always activity happening in the spiritual realm.
Do you know how sometimes when you meet a new person, you feel drawn to them? By something you can’t explain? That kind of thing can be chemistry and attraction, sure, but in this case it’s something different.
When someone carrying an Ahab spirit meets someone with the Jezebel spirit, the spirits inside them recognize each other. The spirits reach out to each other. It happens instantly, and the people carrying these spirits don’t see it happen or have any idea about it. But when an Ahab and Jezebel spirit recognize each other in someone else, they make a connection. But this isn’t a Godly connection. It’s not based on anything positive, but on the desires of these two demons.
When the Ahab and Jezebel spirit connect with each other, they will soon mislead their victims into the dysfunctional Jezebel-Ahab relationship. And this turns out like what I described in Part 2. The Jezebel will abuse the Ahab and take advantage of them, draining them of resources and energy and usurping their authority or position. The Ahab will use the Jezebel to fight its battles, and manipulate the Jezebel in its own unique way.
What a pointless relationship! Both parties are manipulating each other … although we must admit that the Ahab gets a worse deal. The one with the Ahab spirit will passively tolerate various kinds of abuse, infidelity, and so on because they don’t stand up to the Jezebel. I only want to point out that the Ahab isn’t innocent themselves, that’s all.
By the way, this is one point that can make the Jezebel-Ahab relationship different from a relationship where one partner is a narcissist.
Many people are aware that narcissists have Jezebel spirit tendencies. Many people accuse them of having Jezebel spirits. That may very well be true, and narcissists do act demonic and amorally, but be more careful before accusing anyone of having a demon. It’s not an accusation to make lightly. Before accusing anyone of having a Jezebel spirit (or any spirit), you need the spiritual discernment of the Holy Spirit. You need divine confirmation.
Anyway, sure, most narcissists probably have a deep and well-established Jezebel spirit in them. It’s OK to say that in general. The victim of the narcissist though, the other person in the relationship, they are not guaranteed to have an Ahab spirit. They might have one after suffering the narcissistic abuse and the relationship ends. And if the narcissist did indeed have a Jezebel spirit then they will get infected with various demons themselves. But narcissists tend to target good, innocent people. So it’s possible for the narcissist’s partner, their victim, to not have an Ahab spirit.
So now we know why people with Jezebel and Ahab spirits on them feel drawn to each other. These demons recognize each other in the spiritual realm, and they reach out to each other. But that’s only the initial attraction and opening stages. Why do Jezebel and Ahabs so often get into relationships, or in some cases even get married?
The Influence of Unhealed Wounds
I’ve talked about how emotional wounds from childhood are an open door for demons to enter you. And in Part 3, I talked about how passivity goes all the way back to childhood and what you learned by example.
Well our unhealed wounds and our childhoods have a great impact on our adult lives. Most of the time it’s subconscious—we don’t know how we’re being influenced. But we are. As Steve Sampson puts it in Discerning and Defeating the Ahab Spirit (AFFILIATE LINK):
Unquestionably, our behavior patterns begin with events early in our lives. […] Unfortunately, people who live for years and years with a passive nature decide to let things slide. This creates lifetime patterns of harm, depression and even heartbreaking circumstances in relationships of all kinds.
Discerning and Defeating the Ahab Spirit, Page 92
Of course our childhoods influence our behavior and choices as adults. That’s easy to understand, right? But what happens when our childhood goes wrong? What happens when we have abusive parents or other kinds of trauma?
Besides creating the emotional wounds that demons can exploit, something I’ve talked about elsewhere on my blog, abusive childhoods lock us into self-destructive behaviors as adults. We get trapped in self-destructive cycles. Of course the demons influence these actions too, because they enjoy seeing us in pain and ruining our lives. But it’s our childhood wounds that affect our thinking and lock us in these cycles.
For example, a woman whose father was an alcoholic when she was a child can easily be emotionally traumatized by that. She could be wounded by the fact her father cared for and needed alcohol more than he did her. She may be emotionally wounded that she couldn’t “fix” her father, that she couldn’t “do enough” to make him love her more than alcohol. A child wouldn’t understand that “fixing” other people in this way isn’t possible. But this would still be emotionally traumatic anyway. Her childhood neglect from her father would create emotional scars that demons, including Ahab, will exploit.
Now fast-forward to this hypothetical girl as an adult woman. She grows up and moves on, but in her heart she still has the emotional wounds from being neglected by her father who loved and needed alcohol more than her. As a result, she repeatedly gets into relationships with alcoholics. She’s constantly finding them, getting into relationships with them, and suffering from their addiction. She is subconsciously trying to repeat the scenario of her childhood. Subconsciously, she is always trying to “fix” her father, even if he’s dead by now.
This is called reenactment, among other names. Here’s a definition from a good book on trauma called Healing from Trauma (AFFILIATE LINK), by Jasmin Lee Cori:
Reenactments. Trauma survivors show a tendency to continue to be pulled into dynamics that are similar to those that were operating in previous traumas, and they are often retraumatized. This is explained in different ways ranging from Freud’s repetition compulsion and “trying to get it right” to physiological theories suggesting we continue to put ourselves in situations similar to that of the original trauma because we get addicted to our stress hormones. This phenomenon can also be accurately attributed to […] past learning, and ruptured boundaries.
Jasmin Lee Cori, Healing from Trauma, Page 45
Does this help you understand the Jezebel-Ahab relationship a little more?
Although the demons in each person do influence their actions and the relationship, both people are traumatized and wounded. The Jezebel and the Ahab both. They’re wicked now because of their demons, so our sympathy must be limited, but those demons can be purged if they repent. We need to at least acknowledge that the demons got in there because of the person’s emotional wounds. And these same wounds have a great influence on the person’s behavior as an adult. These wounds draw them into Jezebel-Ahab relationships, and keep them there.
One of the saddest things about childhood abuse is that the child will have a disordered and abusive life when they grow up. They will keep seeking out abusive partners, and run to them. They will stay in abusive relationships. It may be because of a misguided desire to “fix” their original situation. But sometimes, it’s because an abusive situation is familiar to them on a deep subconscious level. A non-abusive situation is foreign to them. It’s tragic. Don’t abuse your children in any way, emotionally or otherwise!
The person with the Jezebel spirit is also wounded, but their response was to turn aggressive instead of passive. Refer to Part 3 for the distinctions between passive, aggressive, and assertive.
Anyway, now we know another part of the reason why people with the Ahab spirit seek out and stay in these abusive relationships. On top of their demon and their learned passivity, they also stay in these relationships because of their childhood wounds and trauma. The people with Jezebel spirits they encounter are only too happy to oblige them with the abusive relationship the Ahab spirit is subconsciously looking for.
Our emotional wounds and trauma are lit up like beacons in the spiritual realm. Satan and his demons instantly take note of them and map them out. And these wounds will influence our actions whether we’re aware of it or not.
This is one more reason why it’s critical for us to heal from our emotional wounds.
Heal the Wound, Close the Door, Break the Cycle
In Part 8 of my Cast Down Jezebel series, I wrote about how emotional wounds are open doors for demons to enter you. Well, as long as those wounds are open, the demons still have that door available to them.
We have to close all the doors when we have demons in us. As long as even one is open, they can still come in. So if emotional wounds are an open door, we have to heal those wounds. In the case of the Ahab spirit and the Jezebel-Ahab relationship, not healing their emotional wounds will cause Ahab to keep getting into this abusive relationship.
A person with an Ahab spirit will never stop getting stuck in this abusive situation until they heal their emotional wounds and trauma. They will seek out this abuse, run to it, and stay in it. To break the cycle, they must heal.
Thank God we have Jesus Christ on our side! Jesus Christ will heal us if we turn to Him. He is the only one who can truly do this for us, but that’s fine because He is all we need. When we turn to Him and ask Him for healing, He will begin to guide us on a path. He will direct us where we need to go. If we need therapy, the LORD through His Holy Spirit will direct us there. And so on.
This quote about healing from emotional wounds is from Part 8 of Cast Down Jezebel:
Healing these wounds will take time and effort. It will take determined and steady prayers to Jesus Christ for healing. The person will have to come to terms with how they were hurt. Various kinds of therapy, most especially talk therapy, may be called for besides the prayers. That is like us doing our part while Jesus works in our hearts on His part, something that only He can do.
Most of all, there will need to be forgiveness. The person under attack must forgive all those (living or dead) who harmed them and caused these wounds.
Forgiveness is possibly the most important step when it comes to healing emotional wounds. This is because not forgiving means holding on to the pain of what happened. That does not help us to heal and move on in the present, the time in which we all live. Forgiving means letting go of that pain, and the need for payback, a need which can never be satisfied.
First things first though. Turn to Jesus and ask Him for healing. He will help you.
Once an Ahab spirit victim becomes aware of their wounds, and aware of the cycles they’ve been trapped in, then they can start healing. They can start to change their ways. They can start to throw off the demon. And they will see their abusive Jezebel-Ahab relationship for what it is!
Armed with new wisdom, the Ahab spirit will learn to recognize this abusive relationship and the red flags for abusive partners. They won’t get caught in this situation again, as long as they stick with Christ. They will stop getting into the Jezebel-Ahab relationship. And once that happens, their lives are sure to change.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post. I think the next post will be about how the Ahab spirit victim learns to stop being passive, and start living assertively. In other words, how to break Free from Ahab. So stay tuned for that, and subscribe to my FREE newsletter using the link below so you don’t miss a post!
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Until next time, be strong and do good!
Your new best friend in Christ,
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